Reiki is how I began this path, therefore Reiki is the foundation of each modality that I practice. It is my compass which allows me to remain on this path.
Back in 1997, when I first began my journey into energetic bodywork, my sole intention was to use what I was learning, for the purpose of genuinely helping others.
I clearly remember about 6 months after my first Reiki attunement. I had high aspirations of opening up a little bodywork studio someplace where I would have the “picture perfect space” in which people would flock to me because I had this fabulous tool that could really help them. I began actively seeking out possible work places.
I visualized the space. With my teal green treatment table, pictures on the walls, music playing, incense burning, the perfect rent. I affirmed this everyday through repeated vocal affirmations, picture drawings and meditations. I was intending and manifesting with joy, love and passion!
A year later, I went on to receive my Reiki 2 attunement. A year an half after that, I went on to become a certified Reflexologist, and just this past year, began studying Aromatherapy.
If I knew back in 1997…..just how many twists and turns, stops and starts, detours, and inner lessons that I was going to have to experience on this journey…I can honestly tell you….I would have chosen some other path for myself.
However, once I took that first step, there was no turning back.
You see, this path chose me…..I didn’t choose it.
What I didn’t realize then, is that first, I was going to have to allow Reiki to show me…..how it would support my own fragile existence.
And this took many, many years.
There was a point in my life, when I simply decided to end my relationship to Reiki and Reflexology, because no matter what I did, to try and actively share this kind of work, by looking for employment and even volunteering my services, every single door slammed shut on me.
I remember that exact day.
I was absolutely furious…. a fury like I’ve never felt before.
I grabbed my certifications off the wall, slammed them under my bed, and took my middle finger, on both hands, pointed them up to God and said….. YOU GO TO HELL….HOW DARE YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO….AND THEN NOT LET ME DO IT!
I screamed and shouted every fowl obscenity that I could think of until my throat was raw. I threw things, kicked things, hit walls and banged the floor with my fists. I sobbed with a sadness that came from the depths of my soul.
I felt betrayed and lied to.
This “break-down” was the start of my own personal process, of being “broken-apart”……in order to become a witness…. to the power of Reiki.
I was to completely surrender myself – physically, spiritually, and materially – until I was completely emptied.
Everything of “human security” left me.
I was powerless.
And I was dying.
In total desperation and paralyzing fear, I had no other choice, than to grab hold of Reiki – and beg it to save me.
During this time, I was clearly shown how to differentiate between my own self….and voice of Reiki.
And yet, if I was to try and explain this “difference” to someone else…I couldn’t.
I was placed in a position, where I could only live each second , of each moment, as it was presented to me. I was totally blinded to anything that might be in the future.
I was shown just how utterly powerless and out of control I am to human conditions.
I was literally brought to my knees in humbleness.
I had nothing of human power anymore…..and yet I never felt more powerful.
THIS … is Reiki for me.
Total abandonment and surrender… each time I lay my hands down.
To a power far greater than me…..and yet me.
Thank you Reiki…..for saving me!